POEM: “i didn’t cry tonight”


“i didn’t cry tonight”

i slept in today, then
finished reading a novel
	i thoroughly enjoyed
reserved the next in the series
cleaned house, dishes,
my face, my body
	tried to scrub away
	the daily soil
made my bed, folded, tucked
	away the excess,
read poetry to myself
	silently moved lips
in rhythmic prayer
laundered clothes, cooked
	decent foods for myself,
my family, then saw
	my friends had a reading

the time a few weeks away
	ideal as any could be
but time and finance and gas
	and years of disappointment
	tell me i won’t be there
no matter how desperately
	i want to be
no matter how much
 	i need to see

i haven’t seen them in years
	i used to see so much more
now it feels like
now i feel like
it’s felt like this 
	forever

		yet once
i had life and friends
	outside of house and home
a thing my own
	lost forever

so i sit and sip
	and try not to let things slip
nor show, though the steam from this 
	strong black tea 
stings my eyes


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